Thursday, April 24, 2008

..: Depressing Story Part 1 :.. Worth Reading it!

Part 1...

A fatal misunderstanding and the person who love me the most in this world
is gone forever.

This is a true story, taken from "Family" (dictated by LD, edited by LSX,
translated by SaFe).

Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps
to our family. Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and
peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as
destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking
Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with
us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother
endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see
him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great
deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where
he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a
balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some
greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up
and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he
said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to
rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any
moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and
both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head
continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this
kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her country-side habits and lifestyle with her. For
example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she
could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people
spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat the
flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will
also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled:
"Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever I came
home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she
would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home
with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they
cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.
Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell
her the full price of everything would solve it." There begins the friction
to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In
your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the
breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds
before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her
chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest. As I am a
dance teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted from a long day of
dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few
minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the
protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her
help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds
of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and that
resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would
scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as
not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash they again. One day, late at
night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her
bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a
difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire
night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally
ignored me. I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at
me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? we couldn't possibly die
eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"

After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me
and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.
During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on
the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At
the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his
breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to
perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I
resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.

That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it
because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not
to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears
as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed:
"LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice
but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a
sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my
throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't. I threw
down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited everything out. Just
as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly
in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me
with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but no words came out of
it, I really didn't mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then
stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final
stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.

For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so
furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up
with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the
feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with
all the events happening at home, I was at the low point in my life.
Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible, you should go and see a

The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I
threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that
otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through
this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?
At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been
three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one
look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him.
He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't
know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my

I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I
have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am
having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me round in circles of
joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started
rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one
fight? Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the
disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.

That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the
lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing
the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit
book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me
for good. What a rational man, so clear cut in love and money matters. I
gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.

The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a
good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a
weird look and said: "Mr Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in
the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the
time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at
me, his face was expressionless.

I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the
tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the furneral,
hubby did say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare
at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other
people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward
the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the
country-side. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she
tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...

I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up
that morning, if we had not quarreled, if...

In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

To be continued ............. @ ..: Depressing Story Part 2 :.. Worth Reading it! ..:

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